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Interview with Greg Broadmore

By Simon Morse

Web: http://gregbroadmore.blogspot.com/ (will open in new window)
Email: moc.liamtoh@eromdaorb_gerg

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Date Added: 19th September 2012
Hi Greg. I have done quite a few interviews in the past, but I think this is the one I've been most nervous about. You told me recently that you've been interviewed quite a few times so it would be good if I could come up with some questions that were "out of the ordinary" so here is my first attempt. You have worked on some of the biggest blockbusters of the last 10 years and have established the fantastic Dr. Grordbort Raygun collection. With that in mind, why do you think they make scented toilet roll?

That is a fantastic question and it seems an enigma on the surface. The answer however is actually very simple - idiots buy it. It is a borderline ridiculous idea. You're going to wipe this paper on your butt (generally agreed upon to be the stinkiest part of your anatomy). This paper will come into contact with the smelliest, grossest thing your body can produce, and yet, some people think a lightly scented paper will balance this out. Mental!

I notice that you worked on King Kong, which I thought was visually outstanding. How much impact do you think it would have had on the overall design of the film if King Kong was a giant woodlouse? Oh, and did you meet Jack Black?

Oh, very little impact on the design of the film. I think we did actually design a giant woodlouse at one point, but no-one had the brilliant idea of making it the leading role. It would have given the whole Ann Darrow/King Kong relationship a new spin for sure. And yes, I did meet Jack Black - he totally walked by my desk and totally said "Hi" It was quite the moment.

I think that the woodlouse is a somewhat neglected creature throughout games and movies. If you were to turn a woodlouse into the lead in a movie, what kind of movie do you think it would be and how would you tackle the lead character design?

If I had to work on a movie where the lead character was a woodlouse, I would tackle the challenge by turning to that trusted and age-old tool utilized by creative people all over the world: drugs. Lots of them, as often as possible. What sort of movie would it be? I have no clue as I haven't seen the screenplay, but I hope it's not porn.

I would guess from looking at your work that like me you are a dinosaur fan! If you could be any dinosaur which one would it be? And it can't be anything obvious like a T-Rex or Velociraptor. I would be a Gallimimus because I like saying it.

I can't be a Tyrannosaurus? Oh that's mean. I assume that I would be cheating to say

Albertasaurus then? And you'd be a Gallimimus? A Gallimimus? That's just weird, my friend. Hm... Triceratops was my childhood favorite... Troodon would be the clever one I guess, and I do live under the illusion that I am quite clever... This is hard! I'll have to get back to you.

I knew you were a dinosaur fan! I will ask you the same question as I would ask any appreciator of prehistoric reptiles. In the scene at the end of Jurassic Park there is a fight between two Velociraptor's and a T-Rex and it is implied that the T-Rex kicks butt! Who do you think would have won if it was five Velociraptors verses a T-Rex?

Well this is a very serious question indeed and I will need to don my nerd hat to contemplate it. Firstly, we should all know by now that the Velociraptors in Jurassic Park were nothing like real Velociraptors; the real ones are about the size of a small dog. So, assuming five dog-sized Velociraptors were starved and/or brain damaged enough to want to fight an adult T-Rex, we can pretty safely assume, even given the current sway towards the thinking that the T-Rex was a scavenger , that those five mesozoic liztards got their cloaca's handed to them (nerd hat off again).

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